Yesterdays Free Write

Pen to page.
Skeevy pirates,
A parrot would talk to much.
Would lack impulse control.
Kinda like me.

Dicipline. No I do not want to teach.
Not big. Not small. Not teach at all.

I am wondering how long it takes to become. How long I can last like this:
I burn the candle at all ends.

I allude sleep. And it in turn alludes me.

I wrote a poem in the shower. In my head. It almost slipped away. Instead I just looked slightly foolish. I hate the "You're writing poetry?" Words work, twist, splay, and turn. Splish tare, and bare.

They leave everything naked to anothers eyes and judgement.

Size
Script
Ink
It's all relevant

Update on Lil' Preggo

After playing a used woman turned stripper, Lil Preggo's newest role is Pregnant Hooker.
I love it.
Except for this time she gets to keep her clothes on... but maybe it will be more appropriate to cat call?

I am so going to be the one yelling "Ya Mommy!" from the audience :P

All is fair

Started classes yesterday and became quickly bored out of my mind by the in depth reading of course outlines. Arg.

Poetry class looks good tho. Even tho I am the worst poet EVER, I love workshopping, it is so educational. It looks like there is going to be a good group.

My problem is my poetry often ends up looking to much like prose.

For example, somehow I want to turn the following into a poem:

I study sex every chance I get.
That is to say I'm a scorpio.
"Nympho."
Scorpio.
"Same thing."

Probably I'll add some random facts that I've learned over my last year of studies regarding western sexualities. Like that clitorectomies were used as lates as the 1950's to cure small girls from masterbation. Or that video killed the stripping industry. Oh, and my all time favorite, that Canada Customs has control over the media allowed into the country, and decides what is indecent. Customs. LAME.

Fun stuff like that.

What do you think?
Anyone have any fun facts?

I am lame

I am weird. Probably you all know that. I went to Seattle. It rocked. It was a long day. And I felt a little guilty for requesting it and then napping the whole way there, and most of the way back. My bestfriends dad drove us out. Showed us the sights. It was his day off, and I did, do feel guilty for monopoplizing it. It was part of the being spoiled on my vacation. Whatever I wanted I got. And I am grateful for it.

But back to Seattle and my being weird.

For the week before my vacation I went ON AND ON AND ON about visiting my meca, the birthplace of ....STARBUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wanted to go, get my picture taken and just soak in the beauty of the original corporate blackhole that is Starbucks. It was right at Pike Place Market, where we were to spend our morning.

We got there. I looked inside. It was busy, full of people. I didn't go in. My friend took my picture. Her dad asked if we were going in. I said no. Too busy. Don't like crowds. I stepped in. Grabbed a mug, paid in the quickest moving Starbucks line EVER. And left.

Meca visited. Mission accomplished.

I love my mug!

Quiet Moment for Random Thoughts

It is funny when there is no noise. When the house falls silent. At home that never happens, there is the sound of traffic, neighbours moving behind thin walls and above me, two pyschotic cats running rampant, racing, raucious. Here there is silence, but for the sound of humming lights and moving air.

Can you imagine the mess of a motorcycle hitting a deer, a moose?
I don't like motorcycles. I can see how they would be exhilarating, but they scare me. To drive next to, to pass. And my biggest driving pet peeve is the biker that zips up behind, then to the side, and is suddenly passing the person in front of you.

A venti non fat no foam tazo chai contains approx. 320 calories, thats 100 more than a slim fast shake. It is recommended that you intake a minimum of 300 calories for breakfast to get the metabolism going.

Give blood. It takes little time and makes a world of difference.

Everyone has cancer. It is scary. A few of my friends parents are fighting it. It makes me worry about my own. It makes me worry about my friends.

The tip of the tongue the teeth the lips.

I downloaded Courtney Jaye's "Can't Behave" for my ringtone. LOVE IT! I need new music. Current fave is Timbalands "The Way I Are". I know, I'm a pop music slut. Current least fave is Fergie's #1 hit, can't remember what it's called, something about being a big girl and not crying, or out growing diapers.

I'm tired, but in a good, satisfied way. Vacation is not everything I hopd and dreamed for, but it'll do. I'm being spoiled. I get to do everything I want. I get to see people I love that are too far away to see everyday. So it is good.

am i a writer if the pen never hits the page and the fingers miss the keys?

It has been a long time since i wrote. too long. For some reason lately I will start to write something and then it feels all wrong and I erase it and do something else. I think maybe it's because i have so much and so little to say. Thoughts go round and round in my head and then I'm not sure if I want to share those pieces of myself. Or keep them private. Does it add or detract from my strength? hard to say. Perhaps the words just needed to wait for the right time.
A lot of things are a changing for me right now. I am leaving my summer job that went from a 2 week position to a 4 month term. I am going to visit my very best friend and her family and then I will be working for my dad for 2 weeks and then school starts.
Working for my dad has been a challenge lately. He has two live in developmentally delayed dudes, and I do relief work for him. One guy is 57 and acts like a mostly well behaved 5 year old. The other is 40, autistic, and with a recent change in meds is now at the terrible twos. Before his drugs kept him pretty bogged down and easy to get along with. Now he is more alert and self sufficient. The down side is he has learned the word "NO".
Our daily battles this weekend have gone like this:
"Bill time to get up." NO
"Bill time for a bath." NO (he has recently decided against bathing.)
"Bill time to get dressed." NO
and my favorite... "Bill put your shoes on." NO
and then later "Bill take your shoes off." NO
ARG.
And then when we finally do leave the house is cheerful and flirty and giggly.
The upside of all this is he used to have tantrums and throw his toys around when something bothered him, and i havent seen any of that lately.
Just the word NO.

And as I am no longer with the boy I don't have the extra help I used to with the guys. It has become a lot more work.

I think I'll wrap up now before this post becomes so long that you look at it and your eyes glaze over at the length of my verbal diarhea. Have a good week!

*8* more random things about me!

I'm writing them in reverse this time so I don't go over the limit.

8. As far as toes go, mine are pretty darn cute.

7. I love romance novels... perhaps addicted is a better word

6. HATE job hunting

5. Can stand only green, orange pekoe and chai lattes as far as tea goes. Everything else tastes too much like perfume.

4. Am super scatter-brained and always double check anything that is important on fear of forgetting something.

3. Don't always know when to keep my mouth shut... but really, who does?

2. Have just started letting the cats out on to the balcony and watch the spastic little boogers like a hawk. The flies drive River nuts and I'm afraid he might jump off trying to catch them, but Bosley is content to just chill and sit by me, he is the needier of the two.

... I don't think I have anything else right now....

hmmm...

1. Like spontaniety but am mellowing with age... I hope

Just Wow

My super cute, super pregnant... ok newly second trimester, stripper... ok played a stripper in a play, friend and I went to Walmart for no reason other to get out of the house. I picked up sweet chili sauce and bug spray. We got in line at the self serve tills and lil'prego went to find some child size glasses to fit her little face. She is one of those super petite girls who is going to look hilariously disproportionate during trimester 3. I can't wait to make fun of her. The line behind me was filling up the aisle and some guy was trying to cut in line so I went and stood next to the till that looked like it would be available next. I chilled their and thought about dashing of to grab the new Cosmo (yes it is trash but I LOVE it) when lil' prego came back looking for me. I waved her over and oohed and awed over her tiny sunglasses.

"EXCUSE ME!"

The voice of the woman at the till was shrill. We looked at her.

"Do you mind? You're supposed to wait back there."

"Oh? I think we'll just wait here thanks." I said

She huffed and went about paying. She glared at me on her way out.

"Have a fantabulous evening!" I couldn't resist, not when lil' preggo had my back.

She huffed. "You need to learn some manners!"

"Really?" I said. "I can't believe you think we should learn some manners when your mother obviously didn't teach you any."

Lil' preggo broke out in laughter.

Ya, so I wasn't nice,but wow. Just wow. If she wanted some space she could have just asked us nicely to move. It's not like I'm hard to get along with when I'm spoken to with respect. I just don't enjoy being spazzed on for no reason.

At least it makes for a good story.

Tired Addled Brain

My brain is thinking tired, addled thoughts. I woke up last night to my cat settling in for a snuggle. He presses his head up against my cheek and throws an arm over my neck. I get drooled on a lot but it's worth it. Next thing it's morning. The alarm is slowly catching my attention. The boy has it on low. If it was just me it would be at an audible sound level, but hey, I'm not the one who has to be to work by 6. Jump up. Blink. Wander to bathroom to wash face. Find clothes. Put on. Wake the boy. Grab 4 bags of garbage of deck. Put outside apartment door. Put shoes on. Wash hands. Feed cats. Wander dawn 3 flights of stairs. No elevator. Outside with 2 weeks of garbage. Yummy.

At work. Sitting at desk. Is 5:58am. Am 2 hours early. Equals 2 hours OT.
YAY me!

7 Random Things About Me

1. I have a dime sized birthmark on my right wrist.

2. I can tell the Olsen twins apart.

3. My part time job is hanging out with the developmentally delayed.

4. I have 4 brothers and no sisters.
My parents both have 4 siblings and my older brother has 5 kids. I am not having 5 kids. NOT. I am getting my tubes tied after 2.

5. I am not a fan of Shakespeare.

6. I hate stupidity. It is annoying.

7. I can touch my tongue to my nose.

8. I love the way the word "whore" sounds in Afrikan. It's pretty.

Still Here

I still have my old job, am still looking for a new job and have a dream like fantasy of a job that would be perfect for me if only the hours can be exactly what I want/need them to be due to school. I HAVE A DREAM...

Dreams are healthy, they initiate change, they motivate, they inspire...
They can leave us crushed and disapointed.
So, the trick is to have a dream and let uplift you but also be a realist

cross your fingers for me because I hate job hunting

McKinnon Flats

I need a job

So in true stubborn fashion I am holding out for something that I may actually like. HA.

HAPPY LONG WEEKEND

I am ashamed to say that I do not know how old Canada is turning.
Oh well, no work on Monday!
Good thing, maybe I'll shake this cold that's got a hold of me. All day I've been sneezing and my nose leaks. Yummy.
Oh well.

I plan to celebrate with beer. Lots of beer.

On Pillows

I bought a new pillow.
A fifty dollar down pillow.
A cloud of feathers to dream upon.

It is love.
And because I am nice I bought one for the boy too.
He wakes up a little less grouchy now.
Neither of us are morning people.

End or Beginning?

My two week temp stint turned into 2 months. I've gone from being the pretty face that greets people at the door and otherwise has nothing to do but answer the phone when it rings and surf the web to the girl who does all that, plus arranges, ships, sells, photocopies, scans, creates files, orders, tells, sends, runs, jumps, leaps through burning loops of fire and soooooo much more.
All that is over in two days.

I hate job hunting. But I am going to tell myself I don't. It's an adventure. The beginning of a new and unknown experience. If I had my way I would stay home the rest of the summer and write. I would go to the park and write. I would go to Starbucks and write. I would get on a bus and write. I would go to the pub and drink... and write. I would clean my house, do the shopping, the cooking, and the caring for the Boy (who recently broke his wrist).

Instead I am off to a new adventure. An unknown experience. Another version of life that will add flavor and knowledge to my writing.... if I ever have the time to sit down and do it.

Went somewhere, Did somethings

First off, it is way to fucking early.
Lately I get to wake up at 5:30. In the morning.
Argh. I want my bed and a new pillow that isn't like a brick to lay my head on. I hate my pillow. It is a $10 pillow from Walmart. Serves me right.

Went to Vancouver saw my bestest friend and her family....
didn't want to leave.
Declared myself Godmom of her babies.
Now I have to remember their birthdays... I don't even remember my nieces and nefiews birthdays. Crap.

Flying hurts my brain. I yawned the whole way their and back trying to relieve the pressure. Didn't work.

Richmond is beautiful. Love it. Want to move there and by a condo directly over Starbucks. Actually I think that's in Steveston. I saw Starbucks and shouted with joy. Seriously. I am a Starbucks addict. And they had breakfast sandwiches that were AMAZING. Can't wait

Learned a little, about the boy.

Didn't sleep much.

Waited around a bit for hung over people.

Flew first class baby. Stretched my legs. Drank a little. Watched TV. Declined the hot towel.

Took LOTS of pictures.

Got home late.

Am really tired.

Saw the ocean. (while driving to the airport.) (and the dike by Steveston) LAME-0

Will return.