My super cute, super pregnant... ok newly second trimester, stripper... ok played a stripper in a play, friend and I went to Walmart for no reason other to get out of the house. I picked up sweet chili sauce and bug spray. We got in line at the self serve tills and lil'prego went to find some child size glasses to fit her little face. She is one of those super petite girls who is going to look hilariously disproportionate during trimester 3. I can't wait to make fun of her. The line behind me was filling up the aisle and some guy was trying to cut in line so I went and stood next to the till that looked like it would be available next. I chilled their and thought about dashing of to grab the new Cosmo (yes it is trash but I LOVE it) when lil' prego came back looking for me. I waved her over and oohed and awed over her tiny sunglasses.
"EXCUSE ME!"
The voice of the woman at the till was shrill. We looked at her.
"Do you mind? You're supposed to wait back there."
"Oh? I think we'll just wait here thanks." I said
She huffed and went about paying. She glared at me on her way out.
"Have a fantabulous evening!" I couldn't resist, not when lil' preggo had my back.
She huffed. "You need to learn some manners!"
"Really?" I said. "I can't believe you think we should learn some manners when your mother obviously didn't teach you any."
Lil' preggo broke out in laughter.
Ya, so I wasn't nice,but wow. Just wow. If she wanted some space she could have just asked us nicely to move. It's not like I'm hard to get along with when I'm spoken to with respect. I just don't enjoy being spazzed on for no reason.
At least it makes for a good story.
13.7.07
Tired Addled Brain
My brain is thinking tired, addled thoughts. I woke up last night to my cat settling in for a snuggle. He presses his head up against my cheek and throws an arm over my neck. I get drooled on a lot but it's worth it. Next thing it's morning. The alarm is slowly catching my attention. The boy has it on low. If it was just me it would be at an audible sound level, but hey, I'm not the one who has to be to work by 6. Jump up. Blink. Wander to bathroom to wash face. Find clothes. Put on. Wake the boy. Grab 4 bags of garbage of deck. Put outside apartment door. Put shoes on. Wash hands. Feed cats. Wander dawn 3 flights of stairs. No elevator. Outside with 2 weeks of garbage. Yummy.
At work. Sitting at desk. Is 5:58am. Am 2 hours early. Equals 2 hours OT.
YAY me!
At work. Sitting at desk. Is 5:58am. Am 2 hours early. Equals 2 hours OT.
YAY me!
11.7.07
7 Random Things About Me
1. I have a dime sized birthmark on my right wrist.
2. I can tell the Olsen twins apart.
3. My part time job is hanging out with the developmentally delayed.
4. I have 4 brothers and no sisters.
My parents both have 4 siblings and my older brother has 5 kids. I am not having 5 kids. NOT. I am getting my tubes tied after 2.
5. I am not a fan of Shakespeare.
6. I hate stupidity. It is annoying.
7. I can touch my tongue to my nose.
8. I love the way the word "whore" sounds in Afrikan. It's pretty.
2. I can tell the Olsen twins apart.
3. My part time job is hanging out with the developmentally delayed.
4. I have 4 brothers and no sisters.
My parents both have 4 siblings and my older brother has 5 kids. I am not having 5 kids. NOT. I am getting my tubes tied after 2.
5. I am not a fan of Shakespeare.
6. I hate stupidity. It is annoying.
7. I can touch my tongue to my nose.
8. I love the way the word "whore" sounds in Afrikan. It's pretty.
Still Here
I still have my old job, am still looking for a new job and have a dream like fantasy of a job that would be perfect for me if only the hours can be exactly what I want/need them to be due to school. I HAVE A DREAM...
Dreams are healthy, they initiate change, they motivate, they inspire...
They can leave us crushed and disapointed.
So, the trick is to have a dream and let uplift you but also be a realist
cross your fingers for me because I hate job hunting
Dreams are healthy, they initiate change, they motivate, they inspire...
They can leave us crushed and disapointed.
So, the trick is to have a dream and let uplift you but also be a realist
cross your fingers for me because I hate job hunting
5.7.07
I need a job
So in true stubborn fashion I am holding out for something that I may actually like. HA.
30.6.07
HAPPY LONG WEEKEND
I am ashamed to say that I do not know how old Canada is turning.
Oh well, no work on Monday!
Good thing, maybe I'll shake this cold that's got a hold of me. All day I've been sneezing and my nose leaks. Yummy.
Oh well.
I plan to celebrate with beer. Lots of beer.
Oh well, no work on Monday!
Good thing, maybe I'll shake this cold that's got a hold of me. All day I've been sneezing and my nose leaks. Yummy.
Oh well.
I plan to celebrate with beer. Lots of beer.
27.6.07
On Pillows
I bought a new pillow.
A fifty dollar down pillow.
A cloud of feathers to dream upon.
It is love.
And because I am nice I bought one for the boy too.
He wakes up a little less grouchy now.
Neither of us are morning people.
A fifty dollar down pillow.
A cloud of feathers to dream upon.
It is love.
And because I am nice I bought one for the boy too.
He wakes up a little less grouchy now.
Neither of us are morning people.
End or Beginning?
My two week temp stint turned into 2 months. I've gone from being the pretty face that greets people at the door and otherwise has nothing to do but answer the phone when it rings and surf the web to the girl who does all that, plus arranges, ships, sells, photocopies, scans, creates files, orders, tells, sends, runs, jumps, leaps through burning loops of fire and soooooo much more.
All that is over in two days.
I hate job hunting. But I am going to tell myself I don't. It's an adventure. The beginning of a new and unknown experience. If I had my way I would stay home the rest of the summer and write. I would go to the park and write. I would go to Starbucks and write. I would get on a bus and write. I would go to the pub and drink... and write. I would clean my house, do the shopping, the cooking, and the caring for the Boy (who recently broke his wrist).
Instead I am off to a new adventure. An unknown experience. Another version of life that will add flavor and knowledge to my writing.... if I ever have the time to sit down and do it.
All that is over in two days.
I hate job hunting. But I am going to tell myself I don't. It's an adventure. The beginning of a new and unknown experience. If I had my way I would stay home the rest of the summer and write. I would go to the park and write. I would go to Starbucks and write. I would get on a bus and write. I would go to the pub and drink... and write. I would clean my house, do the shopping, the cooking, and the caring for the Boy (who recently broke his wrist).
Instead I am off to a new adventure. An unknown experience. Another version of life that will add flavor and knowledge to my writing.... if I ever have the time to sit down and do it.
25.6.07
Went somewhere, Did somethings
First off, it is way to fucking early.
Lately I get to wake up at 5:30. In the morning.
Argh. I want my bed and a new pillow that isn't like a brick to lay my head on. I hate my pillow. It is a $10 pillow from Walmart. Serves me right.
Went to Vancouver saw my bestest friend and her family....
didn't want to leave.
Declared myself Godmom of her babies.
Now I have to remember their birthdays... I don't even remember my nieces and nefiews birthdays. Crap.
Flying hurts my brain. I yawned the whole way their and back trying to relieve the pressure. Didn't work.
Richmond is beautiful. Love it. Want to move there and by a condo directly over Starbucks. Actually I think that's in Steveston. I saw Starbucks and shouted with joy. Seriously. I am a Starbucks addict. And they had breakfast sandwiches that were AMAZING. Can't wait
Learned a little, about the boy.
Didn't sleep much.
Waited around a bit for hung over people.
Flew first class baby. Stretched my legs. Drank a little. Watched TV. Declined the hot towel.
Took LOTS of pictures.
Got home late.
Am really tired.
Saw the ocean. (while driving to the airport.) (and the dike by Steveston) LAME-0
Will return.
Lately I get to wake up at 5:30. In the morning.
Argh. I want my bed and a new pillow that isn't like a brick to lay my head on. I hate my pillow. It is a $10 pillow from Walmart. Serves me right.
Went to Vancouver saw my bestest friend and her family....
didn't want to leave.
Declared myself Godmom of her babies.
Now I have to remember their birthdays... I don't even remember my nieces and nefiews birthdays. Crap.
Flying hurts my brain. I yawned the whole way their and back trying to relieve the pressure. Didn't work.
Richmond is beautiful. Love it. Want to move there and by a condo directly over Starbucks. Actually I think that's in Steveston. I saw Starbucks and shouted with joy. Seriously. I am a Starbucks addict. And they had breakfast sandwiches that were AMAZING. Can't wait
Learned a little, about the boy.
Didn't sleep much.
Waited around a bit for hung over people.
Flew first class baby. Stretched my legs. Drank a little. Watched TV. Declined the hot towel.
Took LOTS of pictures.
Got home late.
Am really tired.
Saw the ocean. (while driving to the airport.) (and the dike by Steveston) LAME-0
Will return.
21.6.07
Please check out my new blog http://www.aturgidmind.blogspot.com/
so far it' s not a lot to look at but it'll get there.
so far it' s not a lot to look at but it'll get there.
19.6.07
The Witch, the Frog, and Her Wrath
“A frog! A frog! A frog upon your houses!” screamed the witch, with some difficulty, through a rattling smokers cough. And suddenly there was. An enormous green tree frog equal in size to two plough horses, with feet as large as cart wheels, appeared from no where and began hopping from house to house leaving devastating ruins in its wake. The village people, who had gathered in the town square at the witches’ loud and rude arrival, looked at each other in dumbfounded horror. What had they done to incur the witches’ wrath?
“What have we done to incur your wrath?” asked the boldest, or perhaps dumbest of the villagers. Or yet again, perhaps the poor man was simply intoxicated.
The witch turned to him, livid, her untidy black hair in a wild mess about her face, pupils enlarged and darkened by anger. She opened her mouth and all that came out was blackness and a horrific scream of many voices. Her eyes rolled up in her head and she slumped to the ground, like a rag doll, her head landing in semi-fresh horse dung, it had recently stopped steaming.
The villagers glanced at each other, at the fallen witch, and then at the giant frog that was still destroying their homes and livelihoods. Many of them rolled their eyes thinking, “Great, just great, now what?” They looked at each other again, cautiously, no one really wanting to step up and take a risk.
From the back of the crowd the village idiot stumbled forward dragging his bad leg behind him and lifting his cap out of his eyes. He eyed the unconscious witch drunkenly, blinking widely, as if to clear his vision. He seemed to think for a moment before pulling a dagger from his belt. He bent down kissed the witch square on the lips and then killed her in the most humanitarian way possible.
As the last of the witches’ lifeblood left her the crowd held their breath in silence. They knew the moment of the witches’ true death because at that very moment the frog that had been causing chaos and destruction instantly disappeared mid hop. The villagers all cheered and rewarded their pal the village idiot richly with gold, and better yet, barrels of ale.
No one ever found out what had angered the witch, and caused her to attack the town. However, that night many of the village children returned from a forest picnic complaining of gingerbread tummy aches.
“What have we done to incur your wrath?” asked the boldest, or perhaps dumbest of the villagers. Or yet again, perhaps the poor man was simply intoxicated.
The witch turned to him, livid, her untidy black hair in a wild mess about her face, pupils enlarged and darkened by anger. She opened her mouth and all that came out was blackness and a horrific scream of many voices. Her eyes rolled up in her head and she slumped to the ground, like a rag doll, her head landing in semi-fresh horse dung, it had recently stopped steaming.
The villagers glanced at each other, at the fallen witch, and then at the giant frog that was still destroying their homes and livelihoods. Many of them rolled their eyes thinking, “Great, just great, now what?” They looked at each other again, cautiously, no one really wanting to step up and take a risk.
From the back of the crowd the village idiot stumbled forward dragging his bad leg behind him and lifting his cap out of his eyes. He eyed the unconscious witch drunkenly, blinking widely, as if to clear his vision. He seemed to think for a moment before pulling a dagger from his belt. He bent down kissed the witch square on the lips and then killed her in the most humanitarian way possible.
As the last of the witches’ lifeblood left her the crowd held their breath in silence. They knew the moment of the witches’ true death because at that very moment the frog that had been causing chaos and destruction instantly disappeared mid hop. The villagers all cheered and rewarded their pal the village idiot richly with gold, and better yet, barrels of ale.
No one ever found out what had angered the witch, and caused her to attack the town. However, that night many of the village children returned from a forest picnic complaining of gingerbread tummy aches.
I am not a poet
My poetry is hit and miss and I cannot seem to grasp what makes a piece good or God awful.
Please let me know if this is a bulls eye or a dart stuck into the carpet. Thank you, Thank you.
No bruises to call bones
just black and white
ink scratching out scars
while stars tell nothing,
keep their counsel,
tight lipped and bright.
Night covers the tracks
of those not innocent
while young minds dream.
Please let me know if this is a bulls eye or a dart stuck into the carpet. Thank you, Thank you.
No bruises to call bones
just black and white
ink scratching out scars
while stars tell nothing,
keep their counsel,
tight lipped and bright.
Night covers the tracks
of those not innocent
while young minds dream.
25.5.07
9.5.07
4.5.07
If only work was this exciting!
Green goo dripped gloppily onto my desk, onto my hands, onto my forehead. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand accidentally tasting the slime. It was salty and bitter with the slight odour of cheese. The texture was worse. It was like eating partially coagulated blood, or the chunks in the bottom of a past due milk carton. My throat heaved. Instinctively I spat the goo onto the office carpet. Ugh. A shiver ran up my back raising the dark hairs that speckle my arms. What the fuck was that? I looked up and saw the mass cling precariously to the ceiling. Another drip was forming. Realising that my mouth was hanging open I shut it with a clack that hurt my jaw just in time to avoid another mouthful.
3.5.07
From the demented mind of Allie
smushed dreams spread like the guts and crumpled wings of a butterfly who played chicken with a frieght train only to realise that it had been a very, very bad idea
Train: 1 Butterfly: 0
27.4.07
Metaphors and Similes
Pushing your buttons is like an easy bake oven.
Sex is like a box of chocolates... ya never know what you're gonna get...
Unless you're married and then it's all fruit creams... I HATE fruit cream
Sex is like a box of chocolates... ya never know what you're gonna get...
Unless you're married and then it's all fruit creams... I HATE fruit cream
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