My Gingerbread Man
The oars on the boat rowed as if possesed by a gingerbread man. Looking closer I discovered they were employed by a gingerbread man, Fred. The oars moved clumsily, jerking, and yet slowly to avoid splashing water into the boat. Nothing is worse than being a soggy gingerbread man. Looking closer I noticed his red M&M eyes and blue icing mouth puckered into an exhausted grimace. He was breathing hard and I could see the sugar on his breath. No wonder he was acting irrationally.If I've told him once I've told him a million times. Lay. Off. The. Coke. It's not good for anyone but it's especially not good for water soluble gingerbread men. One if these days he's gonna be stoned out of his mind and decide to run through the sprinkler, or worse, take a shower. Why should a shower be worse? I'd have to clean it out after. At least if he melted onto the lawn I could leave him to decompose in peace.Looking out a Fred one last time, I shook my head in disgust. Everyone I knew was already making fun of me for being shacked up with a gingerbread man. Imagine if they knew he was an addict too.I've had enough. Grabbing the suitcase that'd been packed for over a month now I jumped onto my magic carpet and flew off into the sunset in search of my happily ever after. Fuck Fred the gingerbread man and his coke habit. I think I'll go find Prince Charming.
The oars on the boat rowed as if possesed by a gingerbread man. Looking closer I discovered they were employed by a gingerbread man, Fred. The oars moved clumsily, jerking, and yet slowly to avoid splashing water into the boat. Nothing is worse than being a soggy gingerbread man. Looking closer I noticed his red M&M eyes and blue icing mouth puckered into an exhausted grimace. He was breathing hard and I could see the sugar on his breath. No wonder he was acting irrationally.If I've told him once I've told him a million times. Lay. Off. The. Coke. It's not good for anyone but it's especially not good for water soluble gingerbread men. One if these days he's gonna be stoned out of his mind and decide to run through the sprinkler, or worse, take a shower. Why should a shower be worse? I'd have to clean it out after. At least if he melted onto the lawn I could leave him to decompose in peace.Looking out a Fred one last time, I shook my head in disgust. Everyone I knew was already making fun of me for being shacked up with a gingerbread man. Imagine if they knew he was an addict too.I've had enough. Grabbing the suitcase that'd been packed for over a month now I jumped onto my magic carpet and flew off into the sunset in search of my happily ever after. Fuck Fred the gingerbread man and his coke habit. I think I'll go find Prince Charming.
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